Why Dont We Listen Better

“So What?” – Insights from the Course

This course has certainly challenged me on multiple levels. First, when reading the book Why Don’t We Listen Better, written by Dr. James Peterson (2015). I was so convicted on my arrogance of not being an intentional listener. Peterson’s book reinforces a paradigm on the importance of listening. It’s not about getting the last word in, or winning the argument that is paramount. The necessity of being a good listener will have far reaching impacts to those around us.  Too many times, society is placing value and priority on the loudest voice, when influence over others can truly be achieved by just learning the skill of listening. I am now making a commitment to continue the process of becoming a better listener.  As the leader of an organization, I have always felt that leadership required a voice of direction in order to be successful, but in reality, my influence and effectiveness as a husband, father, and pastor will reach incredible new heights with a commitment to actively engage in communication through listening.

Like Louise Smith, the first lady of racing, I too have had a few proverbial bones broken on the journey to get where I am today. God has most certainly broken me down so that He could build me up and transform me into the man of God that I need to be for myself and others.

· One area of concern that I continually have to keep submitted to God in prayer is self-esteem.

· According to Dr. Tim Clinton and Ron Hawkins (2009), “self-esteem refers to an inner sense of worthiness that gives a person resilience and resistance to attack or criticism” (p. 214).

· Low self-esteem has attempted to manifest itself in various ways over my lifespan, usually induced by an old spirit of rejection from past hurts and heartbreaks.My “I” type personality profile asserts that I tend to think people expect me to be perfect (Carbonell, 2008, p. 40) and this could be the puzzling part of my personality that keeps me awake at night. Dr. Ken Nichols in his book Masterpiece writes, “a negative self-image produces a wide variety of problems” (2017, p. 23).

“What’s Best Next?”

Although society constantly assesses our value (Clinton & Hawkins, p. 215) that does not mean I have to allow those values to determine my worth or fight to uphold those values, especially if they do not align with what God has already said in His word about me. Scripture states that God is mindful of me (Psalm 8:4) and that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Therefore, it is important for me to continually foster a healthy paradigm of self:

Self-Care?

· “Many pastors misunderstand self-care to mean “self-ish,” said Rae Jean Proeschold-Bell, the initiative’s research director and assistant research professor at the Duke Global Health Institute. “Clergy recognize the importance of caring for themselves, but doing so takes a back seat to fulfilling their vocational responsibilities, which are tantamount to caring for an entire community,” Proeschold-Bell said. “They feel they need permission to take the time to attend to their health” (Rugani, 2012). Making an accurate assessment of my strengths and growth areas can help me learn how to relax, knowing that my value is not solely based on my significance and potential.  I must continue a proactive journey of taking care of my mind, body and spirit to be effective for God

· Barry Howard describes in his article titled “Healthy Self-Care: An Essential Discipline for a Pastor” five areas that place undue stress on a pastor.  One of the areas outlined was that of “Unrealistic expectations– These expectations can be real or perceived, and they can be generated by vocal congregants or be self-imposed by a minister with a “messiah complex.”  Within most congregations there are mix of expectations that fluctuate between market-driven goals (e.g., attendance, budgets, denominational recognition) and mission-driven goals (e.g., life transformation, ministry participation, stewardship practices). The wider the gap between these two categories, the more intense the stress on the minister” (Howard, 2017). I cannot pour from an empty cup, and no matter how much I’ve learned from this course, or how talented I may be in the role of Pastoral Counseling, if I’m not well, it is next to impossible to truly minister to others.

Safe and Securing Relationship?

· Personal integrity is important. According to Charles Kollar (2011), Christian leaders and counselors should always have a clear understanding of ethical concerns that inform our counseling procedures (p. 267). Establishing healthy boundaries and rigid guidelines for counseling sessions are integral to secure relationships. My plans may seem right to me but it is always the purpose of God that will stand (Proverbs 19:20-21).

The following two guidelines were published by the American Church Group in Colorado when they wrote an article titiled “Reduce the Likelihood of Sexual Misconduct in a Counseling Setting”:

·   “Put your counseling procedures into writing. Conduct counseling sessions only on church premises when others are present in the building. Ensure that at least one other church leader is aware when the counseling session occurs.

· Prohibit any pastor or counselor from privately counseling individuals of the opposite gender and make sure that a parent or other adult is present when counseling a minor. Few counselors start out with the intention of committing sexual abuse, so assign accountability partners who regularly check with counselors to see if they are struggling with any problems” (2016).

Further Training?

· Every counselor or ministry worker should always be equipping themselves and meditating on the word of God day and night. Scripture states that the Bible is useful for “teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16) so that I may be well equipped to do good work for the kingdom. For this reason, I will seek out other ways to improve my counseling skills beyond seminary training. My goal is obtaining further licensure beyond what I already have obtained.

· CV Ministries offers additional pastoral Counseling Skills Training that would be a great add-on to what has already been learned in this course. “There are two versions of the curriculum.  The 13-module curriculum provides 3 days of training with fellow pastors and church and ministry leaders.  It provides participants with an understanding of the interaction between emotional, mental and spiritual health, identifies the pastor’s role in counseling, and teaches a variety of skills that can be tailored to the participant’s personality and counseling style.  Participants will have the opportunity to practice the skills and attain competence in pastoral counseling”

Through this course I have learned about who I am first in order to help others.  Ministers do a lot of pouring when others are pulling.  Pastoral counseling is a frontline ministry that carries the weight of others who need God’s guidance.  This course has given me resources that I will use not only for counseling purposes, but in my everyday life.  Through the readings and tools presented even in my hardships I am redirected to Christ for the answer.  Lousie Smith stated, “You can’t reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday’s junk!”  Self-care is cleaning out but filling up on the word of God so that we can help others.  People are dying, they are lost, and they need kingdom citizens to offer the love of God. “It’s in giving that I gain.  It’s in serving that I grow.  It’s in caring for others that I’s nurtured” (Nichols, 2017).  It is essential to network with peers, “one of the wisest time investments is for ministers to develop and use a referral network of other professionals in the community” (Turner, 2018). This path has not been easy, and my journey has been turbulent, but future counselees will be able to see God work through me.

References

Carbonell, M. (2008). How to solve the people puzzle: Understanding personality patterns. Blue Ridge, GA: Uniquely You Resources. (CarbonellVitalSource edition).

Clinton, T., & Hawkins, R. (2009). The quick-reference guide to biblical counseling. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic.

Kollar, C. A. (2011). Solution-focused pastoral counseling (2nd ed.). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

Nichols, K. (2017). Masterpiece: Seeing yourself as God’s work of art changes everything! Forest, VA: ALIVE Ministries.

Turner, R. (2018). Referral: Safeguarding the Integrity of the Counseling Relationship. Enrichment Journal: Equipping and Enriching Spirit Filled Ministers. Retrieved from http://enrichmentjournal.ag.org/199803/048_referral.cfm.

Howard, Barry. “Healthy Self-Care: An Essential Discipline for a Pastor.” Barry’s Notes, 10 Oct. 2017, barrysnotes.wordpress.com/2017/10/10/healthy-self-care-an-essential-discipline-for-a-pastor/.

Rugani, Kate. “Self-Care Is Not Self-Ish.” Self-Care Is Not Self-Ish | Faith and Leadership, 13 Aug. 2012, faithandleadership.com/self-care-not-self-ish.

“American Church Group.” Reduce the Likelihood of Sexual Misconduct in a Counseling Setting, www.americanchurchgroup-colorado.com/ministry-resources/blog/reduce-the-likelihood-of-sexual-misconduct-in-a-counseling-setting/.

www.cv-ministries.com/pastoral-counseling-skills.html

Get Professional Assignment Help Cheaply

Are you busy and do not have time to handle your assignment? Are you scared that your paper will not make the grade? Do you have responsibilities that may hinder you from turning in your assignment on time? Are you tired and can barely handle your assignment? Are your grades inconsistent?

Whichever your reason is, it is valid! You can get professional academic help from our service at affordable rates. We have a team of professional academic writers who can handle all your assignments.

Why Choose Our Academic Writing Service?

• Plagiarism free papers
• Timely delivery
• Any deadline
• Skilled, Experienced Native English Writers
• Subject-relevant academic writer
• Adherence to paper instructions
• Ability to tackle bulk assignments
• Reasonable prices
• 24/7 Customer Support
• Get superb grades consistently

Online Academic Help With Different Subjects

Literature

Students barely have time to read. We got you! Have your literature essay or book review written without having the hassle of reading the book. You can get your literature paper custom-written for you by our literature specialists.

Finance

Do you struggle with finance? No need to torture yourself if finance is not your cup of tea. You can order your finance paper from our academic writing service and get 100% original work from competent finance experts.

Computer science

Computer science is a tough subject. Fortunately, our computer science experts are up to the match. No need to stress and have sleepless nights. Our academic writers will tackle all your computer science assignments and deliver them on time. Let us handle all your python, java, ruby, JavaScript, php , C+ assignments!

Psychology

While psychology may be an interesting subject, you may lack sufficient time to handle your assignments. Don’t despair; by using our academic writing service, you can be assured of perfect grades. Moreover, your grades will be consistent.

Engineering

Engineering is quite a demanding subject. Students face a lot of pressure and barely have enough time to do what they love to do. Our academic writing service got you covered! Our engineering specialists follow the paper instructions and ensure timely delivery of the paper.

Nursing

In the nursing course, you may have difficulties with literature reviews, annotated bibliographies, critical essays, and other assignments. Our nursing assignment writers will offer you professional nursing paper help at low prices.

Sociology

Truth be told, sociology papers can be quite exhausting. Our academic writing service relieves you of fatigue, pressure, and stress. You can relax and have peace of mind as our academic writers handle your sociology assignment.

Business

We take pride in having some of the best business writers in the industry. Our business writers have a lot of experience in the field. They are reliable, and you can be assured of a high-grade paper. They are able to handle business papers of any subject, length, deadline, and difficulty!

Statistics

We boast of having some of the most experienced statistics experts in the industry. Our statistics experts have diverse skills, expertise, and knowledge to handle any kind of assignment. They have access to all kinds of software to get your assignment done.

Law

Writing a law essay may prove to be an insurmountable obstacle, especially when you need to know the peculiarities of the legislative framework. Take advantage of our top-notch law specialists and get superb grades and 100% satisfaction.

What discipline/subjects do you deal in?

We have highlighted some of the most popular subjects we handle above. Those are just a tip of the iceberg. We deal in all academic disciplines since our writers are as diverse. They have been drawn from across all disciplines, and orders are assigned to those writers believed to be the best in the field. In a nutshell, there is no task we cannot handle; all you need to do is place your order with us. As long as your instructions are clear, just trust we shall deliver irrespective of the discipline.

Are your writers competent enough to handle my paper?

Our essay writers are graduates with bachelor's, masters, Ph.D., and doctorate degrees in various subjects. The minimum requirement to be an essay writer with our essay writing service is to have a college degree. All our academic writers have a minimum of two years of academic writing. We have a stringent recruitment process to ensure that we get only the most competent essay writers in the industry. We also ensure that the writers are handsomely compensated for their value. The majority of our writers are native English speakers. As such, the fluency of language and grammar is impeccable.

What if I don’t like the paper?

There is a very low likelihood that you won’t like the paper.

Reasons being:

• When assigning your order, we match the paper’s discipline with the writer’s field/specialization. Since all our writers are graduates, we match the paper’s subject with the field the writer studied. For instance, if it’s a nursing paper, only a nursing graduate and writer will handle it. Furthermore, all our writers have academic writing experience and top-notch research skills.
• We have a quality assurance that reviews the paper before it gets to you. As such, we ensure that you get a paper that meets the required standard and will most definitely make the grade.

In the event that you don’t like your paper:

• The writer will revise the paper up to your pleasing. You have unlimited revisions. You simply need to highlight what specifically you don’t like about the paper, and the writer will make the amendments. The paper will be revised until you are satisfied. Revisions are free of charge
• We will have a different writer write the paper from scratch.
• Last resort, if the above does not work, we will refund your money.

Will the professor find out I didn’t write the paper myself?

Not at all. All papers are written from scratch. There is no way your tutor or instructor will realize that you did not write the paper yourself. In fact, we recommend using our assignment help services for consistent results.

What if the paper is plagiarized?

We check all papers for plagiarism before we submit them. We use powerful plagiarism checking software such as SafeAssign, LopesWrite, and Turnitin. We also upload the plagiarism report so that you can review it. We understand that plagiarism is academic suicide. We would not take the risk of submitting plagiarized work and jeopardize your academic journey. Furthermore, we do not sell or use prewritten papers, and each paper is written from scratch.

When will I get my paper?

You determine when you get the paper by setting the deadline when placing the order. All papers are delivered within the deadline. We are well aware that we operate in a time-sensitive industry. As such, we have laid out strategies to ensure that the client receives the paper on time and they never miss the deadline. We understand that papers that are submitted late have some points deducted. We do not want you to miss any points due to late submission. We work on beating deadlines by huge margins in order to ensure that you have ample time to review the paper before you submit it.

Will anyone find out that I used your services?

We have a privacy and confidentiality policy that guides our work. We NEVER share any customer information with third parties. Noone will ever know that you used our assignment help services. It’s only between you and us. We are bound by our policies to protect the customer’s identity and information. All your information, such as your names, phone number, email, order information, and so on, are protected. We have robust security systems that ensure that your data is protected. Hacking our systems is close to impossible, and it has never happened.

How our Assignment  Help Service Works

1.      Place an order

You fill all the paper instructions in the order form. Make sure you include all the helpful materials so that our academic writers can deliver the perfect paper. It will also help to eliminate unnecessary revisions.

2.      Pay for the order

Proceed to pay for the paper so that it can be assigned to one of our expert academic writers. The paper subject is matched with the writer’s area of specialization.

3.      Track the progress

You communicate with the writer and know about the progress of the paper. The client can ask the writer for drafts of the paper. The client can upload extra material and include additional instructions from the lecturer. Receive a paper.

4.      Download the paper

The paper is sent to your email and uploaded to your personal account. You also get a plagiarism report attached to your paper.

PLACE THIS ORDER OR A SIMILAR ORDER WITH US TODAY AND GET A PERFECT SCORE!!!